Second Mix: Reflect, Revise, and Remix your life
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Welcome to Second Mix, the podcast that dares you to Reflect, Revise, and Remix Your Life. In a world that constantly changes, personal growth can be a comfortable constant. Hosted by Matt Bennett, a lifelong learner and serial entrepreneur, Second Mix is your go-to resource for actionable insights into goal-setting, self-development, and the entrepreneurial spirit.
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Second Mix: Reflect, Revise, and Remix your life
Your Personal Brand with guest Pako Moshaga
What is your personal brand? How do others perceive you in the day-to-day?
Today we have personal branding consultant Pako Moshaga with some very practical advice on negative scripts, leadership, and self-image. He also gives us an exercise that will open your eyes to how people truly perceive you.
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So what do you do.
All right. So I'm a personal branding consultant. What I do is that I help people to package and to profile themselves based on their own skills and unique value. So the best way that I love to put it is that I sell people. That's the most easiest way in a legal way. Of course.
That's really the best description of the services that I provide personal branding deals with your online persona and your in-person persona as well. So I help people to manage those and to ensure that they are seen in the best possible light while being genuine through it all. Okay. So I'm guessing then you'd be working with coaches and consultants and probably entrepreneurs of all, all types who are looking to be a personality of some sort a hundred percent.
Yeah. So I work with coaches. I work with brand influencers. I work with professionals as well as business people. Okay. Yeah. So just branding myself. If I, if I. Up in leadership, in a company, how to, how to act and be a leader in that company. Yeah. So basically how to showcase. Your your best strengths or your skills as a leader effectively.
Because most of us, we are good at something, but we struggle with how to communicate that to the, to the to the world around us. You see, so personal branding is all about how can I as met, showcase my public speaking skills or my writing skills to the rest of the world. So it is all about how to put your best foot.
Wow. That sounds great. That , that sounds like something I need to do. oh, awesome. And I, I think that a lot of people probably need to do that. I, it, it seems like people don't have direction or do, do you find that focusing on one or two skills, if somebody has a lot of skills, what do you do? If someone has so many skills.
All right. So what I do is that I always say let's let's list these skills from the strongest to the not so strongest. So let's say you have three skills like me. I'm into speaking, public speaking, writing, and I'm also into music as well. So in order of how good I am is public speaking, writing, and then singing.
So I lead my brand with the, with the speaking, with the speaking aspect of it, because that's what I do exceptionally well. And so I lead with my strengths. So my advice to clients is always lead with what you do exceptionally well, because in that way, you, you Easy to stand out from the rest of the crowd, because you are doing something that most people do at on an average level, but you do it at an, at an exceptional level.
So you start with that, then you bring in the other skills once, once you are known for that key skill. Okay. You are a singer. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I do bit of singing bit of guitar. Not so much lately because you know growing up becoming a dad and stuff, working, so not much time for the, for the Italian music and stuff, but it's still, it's my first love actually.
It's my first love. Wow. Well, me too, actually, I'm a piano player and a singer and awesome, awesome. Been in bands all my life. Tell the pandemic hit. I was playing out every, every. Oh, nice man. That's that's cool. That's super cool. You were talking. Self-esteem like as far as when you were answering the questions, self-esteem being important. Yeah. So if I could just break it down all, you know, so your self image I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll start with explaining what it is and how it links to self-esteem.
Right. Okay. So your self image is how you see yourself. All of us. See. Ourselves in a certain light, you know, you either see yourself in a positive light as being someone that is able and capable and talented and everything, or you see yourself as average or below average. And so it's, it's all about understanding that you view yourself in a certain light and then appreciating, is that a positive or a negative light?
So that's what self image is and the way that this is linked to self-esteem is that your self-esteem is based on how positively or how negatively you see yourself. So I, I, I like to think of self image as like computer program installed in your mind. Right? So a program is basically a set of rules that ensure that.
A certain action always leads to a certain fixed outcome. And so your self image ensures that any thoughts or actions that you have are always in line with what your self image is. So if you're someone that is shy or timid, so you have an a self image of being shy and being Below average.
So every time you speak or act it's in line with that shy image, that timid image and so shy people tend to talk negatively about themselves. They tend to debase themselves and just basically. Water themselves down, you know, a lot because their computer program being their self image is a negative one.
And so everything that they say or do always goes towards the negative and that's how the tool links, self image. And self-esteem, I really like that way of thinking about it as, as if you are running a computer program, do you, would you say then that if you changed the program. You actually change your actions, you change what you do when you install a new program a hundred percent.
And you know my work is, is all about how to uninstall the program that you have. Firstly, it's it's about understanding that there is a program installed and how do I install it? And what do you re and what new program do you then put into your mind, so to speak. Okay. So do you do a lot of work with negative scripts and negative beliefs that people have about themselves that don't have to be true?
Yeah. So the first step when I work with the client is first getting them to understand that they have a self image and then getting them to dissect that self image and understand the source of the negative thoughts. Understand the source. Of the doubt. And so the source is basically in three parts, our self image or our doubts are stemmed from how we grew up in terms of the environment that we were raised in the type of parenting style that we had.
As kids, the type of teachers that we had, as well as any experiences, you know, any, any failure, any trauma that you experienced either in childhood or in, or in your teen years. So those three factors basically form the type of image that you have of yourself. Okay. So yeah. What, what do you tell people?
How do you help people through. For instance, you know, a few years ago I was I considered myself a night person and everybody had told me all my life, oh, you just don't like to get up in the morning. You're, you're a late sleeper. You're you just work better at night. You're a night person. And I believed that negative script and I, I called it out.
I said it all the time. Oh, I'm a night person. You know, I even went to the extent of getting third shift jobs and making sure that I lived out that negative belief about myself. And when it came to, but I, you know, I've kind of figured it out myself, but when I talk to people and tried to explain to them that is a negative script, you can I tell 'em, you can just say, I'm a morning person.
You can decide, I want to be a morning person, and then you can get there. How would you deal with that? Because I have, I have trouble helping people through that. Yeah. So funny enough I have a, a similar experience, right? So I, I grew up with a terrible start. I, I started a lot as a child and so, you know how kids, I know they tease you and stuff like that.
And so I, I was really quiet as a child. So my teachers and my parents thought that I'm shy. So every time they'd talk about me to, to my uncles, aunts, or to my teachers and stuff, they'd say he's smart, but he's really, he's really shy. So I kept hearing this thing he's shy over and over and over again, over years until my self image was then ultimately that I'm a shy person.
So this is me. I'm a shy guy. And so I went through life with that at the back of my mind. So. Whenever I'd be given a chance to, to speak in public, to be on camera, to speak in class, I would always have that thing that I'm shy, you know? So it would be like I don't know what, like a sounding board of source, you know, so my first would always bounce off that and my default answer would.
I can't do this because I'm shy. I can do this because I'm shy, you know, and it affected my entire life until about three years ago when I was asked to speak at an event, it's a, was a pretty small event. I think it had like maybe 15 people next. So fairly small crowd. And so at first I did what I always did.
I said, you know what, no, this is not for me. I'm just a shy guy. I'm sure there are better people that you could offer this to. But the guy nagged me until I said, okay, fine. You know what? I'll do it. So I went ahead. I did it and to my surprise, it went extremely well. So what I discovered that day was that I have a natural.
Public speaking ability. And I never knew this because I always thought I'm shy. So I never gave it a shot. Never, ever until someone insisted that I tried. And that's when I discovered this skill. And so it challenged my self image because being a speaker, being shy differently, those. They clash, you know, so I have that mental disengagement and oh, you know, and stuff.
And ultimately it helped me to rework on my self image to then have a positive self image based on my skills, as opposed to my weaknesses. Okay. So you were able to in one event replace the script that said, Hey, maybe I'm not shy. Maybe I've got something here. I'd say that event sparked the change. So from there, it was over a couple of months, you know, because then I did other events.
So basically as I did more gigs I got to reinforce that positive thought that I had about myself. So over months and just, just being consistent about it ultimately led me to then build a positive script about myself. All right. So what were you doing at, at the time that someone would've asked you to get up on the stage in the first place?
So at the time I was, I was, I was blogging a bit. I had written for one local newspaper. So I put out a couple of articles around branding, how to brand yourself, et cetera, et cetera. And someone saw them and said, you know what? These are good articles, but can you speak to these in front of a crowd? And that's how the, the whole thing started.
Okay. That's amazing. We sound like we have pretty similar stories with big changes about three years ago. I know, right. yeah. , do you work with groups usually? Do you, do you more do public speaking? So in terms of what I do it's public speaking. I give talks, I coach people and groups in terms of public speaking, then I provide one-on-one consulting in terms of personal branding, how to build your brand and.
Okay. Okay. And if people were interested in that, how would they find you there? All right. So if people are keen on that I'm available on Facebook. My full name, you'll find my page there. I'm also on LinkedIn and Instagram. So my full name there as well. And I can also share with you my email it's Sparko, P a K OT.
Takumi Taku. If I could spell that out. It's T a L I T H a C U M I C Takumi Takumi. Yeah. I will put that in the show notes too, so that anybody can awesome. Anybody can pop to that. That's great.
So where do you want to go with this? What would, what is, what is your next step? What is, what, what do you want to do?
Right. So I'd say I've had a fair level of success. Locally in my own country, I've been on four national radio stations I've featured in, in a newspaper. I've written for two newspapers. I have a bit of TV exposure as well. So what I want to do at this point is to go global with personal branding because it's, it's something that I've, I've applied in my own life and I've seen great, great results out of it.
And it's something that I want to share with the world, especially introverts and people that are shy and timid. Because that's how I, that's how I basically grew up is extremely shy and extremely timid. And I was, I was very very doubtful, you know, of what I could do, what I could offer the world.
And so I've seen that, you know, what a number of people that I shy and very reserved have a lot in. They have a lot to offer to the world just that the programming stops them from doing all of that because every decision is bounced. The program. And so my message really is all about understanding that you have a program installed in you.
It can be a corrupt program, it can be a good program. What can you do about it? And so I want to go with this so that I can help more people as I, myself, manage to claw. Out of that hole that I was in all my life basical. Okay. Do you have, do you have any exercises that you could give my listeners that they could do to help them with their own personal branding?
Yeah. So in terms of personal branding, the first thing is you is that you, you you want to establish your current brand. Cause all of us have a brand. We may be actively building a brand or passively building it either way. All of us have a certain brand, whether we think about it or not, because a brand is basically a label that people have put on you.
So your brand could be that you are Late, you know, and people call you the late camera and that, and that's your brand. Doesn't keep time. That's what you are known for. So your current brand is all about what are you currently known for? So a basic exercise that you could start with is asking three to four people in your circle, objective and honest people, what, or, or rather, sorry.
Let me find how to phrase this. Yeah. Three to four objective people asking. How would you describe me to someone else that has never met me? Okay. How would you describe me to someone else? And, and in that answer, what you are looking for is what is your brand basically? What are you known for? Is there something in your in your looks, in how you dress or in how you carry yourself, there is something in you that people use to describe you.
And that's what you want to look for. Is this something positive? Is it something negative? And in asking people that question, they will then hopefully be comfortable and honest enough to give you the truth to say, okay, this is how I would describe, you know, and it can be something that that is positive or that is negative, but ultimately you want to know what it is that people know you.
Okay. That sounds like an excellent exercise. I will encourage my listeners to go through that. I'm going to awesome. It's kinda kinda a scary proposition asking for close four people who are close to you and honest. What do you, yeah. Very uncomfortable at first. Very uncomfortable but helpful. That's the, that's the kinda things that you have to do to move forward.
Extremely cause a great example that I, I like to use when I, when I talk about branding is how sometime last year a, a friend of mine was looking to hire someone in their team. And I recommended someone that we both know that worked in another organization and he say, oh yeah, that guy, I know him.
He's always negative. He's always complaining about his boss, always complaining about the hours that he works, the paycheck that he gets, he's always complaining about something. You know? So basically what my friend was saying is that I know him. He has a very negative brand of being a complainer of being a negative person.
And so that's what a personal brand is, is what people know you for. And it can be something negative in this case. It was. And so because this guy had a negative brand he lost out on a job opportunity. He couldn't even get to be called for an interview because of his brand. Because my, my friend was saying, you know what?
I know that guy he's negative it's is a non-starter, it's a non-starter. And he lost out because he has a negative personal brand and he didn't even know he lost out at least. Exactly. And yeah. And he'll probably never find out, you know, and that's the unfortunate thing about having. Passive personal brand is that often you don't know how far your actions or your habits go in, in affecting your name and, and and opportunities that you get or that you don't get as a re as a result of your brand.
Okay. Yeah, that seems like, okay, let's keep this guy as your example. I mean, how do you, how do you, how does he change if he decides he wants to, because he's gonna start trying to be more positive, but people still see his old brand. Yeah. So in terms of how he changes one is for him to know that he's, he, he is known as as a negative person and that he has that and that he has that, that that kind of brand.
So that's the first thing, knowing that there is this, this way that people see me then for him to change it's is it's not really around consistency. You see? Because. Him changing now means that he has to act differently. He has to be more positive, more uplifting and, and accepting. And people will start to notice that if he does it consistently over time, over months and and stuff, and ultimately consistency is what builds a brand.
So if he can manage to do that on a consistent basis, ultimately people will start saying, oh yeah, you know what? This dude. It's much more pleasant these days, you know? Oh yeah. I've seen it. Yeah. You know, and then they start talking and stuff like that. And ultimately they completely forget about their old him that used to be negative.
So the key is consistency, patience and understanding that building a brand takes time. Okay. How, what does he have to do to become more positive in your opinion. Okay. So what he has to do to become more positive is to work on his internal, I'd say his self image, you know, or his let's say his issues because definitely if you are always negative, you have certain issues.
Internal issues that are bothering you or that traumatized you, there's something within that needs to be dealt with. So this would really mean that he has to take time and reflect. And be honest and say, you know what? I am very negative. I'm very bitter. There's a reason why I am this way. What is that reason?
What can I do about it? Do I need to talk to a counselor? Do I need to change my lifestyle? Do I need to change my cycle of friends? Do I need to change the, the Type of music that I, that I usually listen to or what, there is something in my lifestyle that has to change, what is that thing? And so it has to be very specific around finding the source of the habit and then dealing with that source.
And as he deals with that source, everything else falls in place. Would you say that you do find input the stuff that people are listening to? The stuff that people are reading, the stuff that's going into their. If do you find that that's really important as to whether you're positive or negative?
Yeah. So I think it's extremely important. So I'll give an example with with the media, you know, They the news and stuff. So if you watch a lot of news, like every day, every morning, the first thing you do watch the news. Leave the house you're on your phone. It's news channels all around lunch time, you are soaked in the news every time.
Ultimately you will become very fearful because the news tend to report on. On the bad stuff that's happening in the world, you know, on on the wars and the deaths and and the virus and everything. And so over time, if you're completely submerged in that content, you build fear in, you are very fearful about about your life.
About what's happening in the world, around you, around what might happen to you as well and stuff like that. And so I find that what we listen to, what we watch is extremely important and we tend to under understate, really the level of. Impact that the news and the TV and the music and, and our friends have on us, because we are exposed to these things on a daily basis and they ultimately take a root in in our minds over time.
Do you have, do you have any books that you would recommend. The first book that I recommend is definitely the Bible. I'm a Christian and a lot of I'd say standards that I use in my own business are actually Christian values. The concept of a self image is something in the Bible.
How to fix yourself image again. It's something that is in the Bible as well. So I highly recommend that as, as, as a book to read, then I also recommend a book by Matthew. I hope I don't butcher his surname S Y E D. It's called black box thinking. So black box thinking is all about how we deal with failure and how there is a right and a wrong way to deal with failure and how the right approach leads to a lot of growth and how then the, the wrong approach leads to a lot of fear.
Of failure a a lot of hiding of instances of failure, as opposed to learning from those moments of failure and seeing how to do better next time. So that's a book that I highly recommend. I believe that it would help us all dealing with failures in, in our lives and seeing how those are actually up to moments for us to.
To learn more about ourselves and to do better in future.
Yeah. If you had 43 seconds to tell the entire world something, you had the entire world on the line for 43 seconds, what would you tell them? Right. I would say. You need to understand that you are not your background. You are not your upbringing. You are a product of your environment of how you are raised and of all the words that were fed to you over time as a child, you had no choice to, but to accept those because you.
A child and those words have affected how you see yourself today. Take time and dissect. Why do you doubt yourself? Why do you think lowly of yourself? Why do you think other people are more deserving than you? Why do you think that Opportunities should be given to others and that you should be considered.
If everyone else can't do it, then it can come to you learn to, to have a level of self worth and self value. And you'll see that you are as capable as anyone else, if not even more. So take time to learn yourself, learn your skills, learn your strengths, and see yourself according to what you do exceptionally well.
And not according to your shortcomings. All right. Those are words of wisdom. Thank you very much. Thank you for being on the show. Thanks mate. It's a pleasure. Thanks so much. And I hope that our managed to add value to the show, to the listeners lives and that they will be able to do something with their lives following this.
Thanks again, Matt.